Twilight: Why do I have to see this crap?

Top Five Reasons Why I Don’t Want to See Any Twilight Movie.

• 1. The Writing: I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but the Twilight books feature really, very, extremely bad writing. Some examples:
  

  “He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.”

Justin Bieber is dead.

Zombieber.

Just kidding! Don’t flip out.

On July 4th, hackers left popup messages on youtube.com telling Bieber fans that the singer had died in a horrific accident. But don’t worry, your preteen heartthrob is still alive. iTunes was also attacked by the hackers. Read the full story on CNN’s Fortune blog.

In related news, 4chan sends Justin Bieber to North Korea.